apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
