Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
high people should be assigned attendants
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
