At least make sure they are 18
Why
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
how does that bad decision feel?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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