Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize