Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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