how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
