How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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