i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
