ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
