no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
