All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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