And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
