so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize