So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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