so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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