Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
