i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
