I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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