She announced her abortion via fbk
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
