Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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