Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
