You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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