How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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