i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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