My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Randomize
