Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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