Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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