I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize