i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
