I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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