god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
