I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
