i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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