I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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