I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
