covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
