So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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