Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My nipple is on Facebook.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Congratulations! We have a period
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
