Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
