playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize