You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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