Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I did not marry a roomba.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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