Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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