Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize