Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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