I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
