i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
