I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
