and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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