I've blown a few things in my day
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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