She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I AM VODKA MAN
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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