Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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