i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
