if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
