I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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