It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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