How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
