I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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