Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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