Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
