***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
