but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
