he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
His hands were made for my vagina.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
