I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize