Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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