i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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