Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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