We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
